An Autotelic New Year

January 3, 2004

Normally this time of year I've put together a short list of things I "resolve" to do in the coming year. I call them my "New Year's resolve-to-do Things". Of course, this lasts all of a week before I lose sight of my reasons for creating the list, and then comes the depression from the failure.

But maybe this year will be different. I've decided that, in order to be more creative and inspired, I need more angst in my life. Currently my life is far too easy and happy, and maybe a little failure and depression is just what I need to get back on track. So I thought I'd dig a little deeper for things I want to change.

Over the past year I have begun to notice a trend in the people I admire and enjoy. All of them are internally motivated, constantly seeking out and experimenting with new activities and ideas. Flow says that this trait derives from an "autotelic personality". From the text:

The term "autotelic" derives from two Greek words, auto meaning self, and telos meaning goal. It refers to a self-contained activity, one that is done not with the expectation of some future benefit, but simply because the doing itself is the reward.

What I've realized about myself is that, perhaps due to my fascination with the evolution of people, ideas, and culture, I have become absolutely focused on the outcome of things, instead of the process. Another argument in Flow is that most people don't truly enjoy things when they are concerned only with the outcome. The way to truly get the most out of the experience is to concentrate on learning the necessary skills, increasing the complexity, reducing distractions, and listening for feedback, and forgetting oneself.

The last point is perhaps the most important. Forgetting oneself in a situation that is designed to improve the self is an irreconcilable paradox. And as long as the point is improving myself, I can never actually do it. From Flow:

Paradoxically, a self-centered self cannot become more complex, because all the psychic energy at its disposal is invested in fulfilling its current goals, instead of learning about new ones.

So if I resolve to improve myself, I cannot do it. What then is left? Why, resolving to enjoy myself more! This too is non-trivial--it involves following all the steps above, and more. But it is sustainable, and scalable too. If it works, it will mean that I do many of the things I have resolved to do in the past as a side benefit: quit bad habits, be more loving, even be more successful.

And if not, well, then at least I'll get that failure and depression...

  1. Transitioning to Autotelism - Aug 16, 2004
  2. Flow - Nov 22, 2003

Comments

  1. Bayimpact:

    Wow, amazing…you are definitely my cousin!!!! Laurie Ryskamp House

    WOW

  2. Alfonso:

    Bob I am well impressed. This blogging thing is pretty cool. Well I am quite new to this blogging world. To this day I still prefer a sketch pad and a good ole #2 pencil, but ask me when is the last time you sat down with a sketchpad and a #2 pencil and I might be embarrassed.

    Help me out here…I think one of the biggest problems with blogs is that you can lie to yourself… Sure you can do it anywhere, but think about the last time you wrote in a journal, or if you have never journaled think about the last post card you wrote. Envision it, the paper, and the scrawl that covers it. As you look at the marks that flowed from your hand down the pen to the paper you can see the changes in handwriting, the mistakes, the pauses and reflectionary moments. You can see where you decided to cross something out or even worse erase what you were truly thinking. Lets be honest how often do you use backspace in the blog realm? I just did. I just cleared a complete thought and there is no trace of it. On the sketch pad I remember each erasure as a scar, and it often reminds me of what I was truly thinking. The backspace button allows us to edit our reflections, change our history and memory and not a scar is left to remind us of our sin. Blog away, but “Autothentic”

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  4. Martin:

    Very interesting and beautiful site. It is a lot of helpful information. Thanks!

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